Honey, Do You Love Me?
by BeyondTheClouds
Summary: L is bored and see's Light looking through games on the internet. One thing leads to another, and all chaos breaks loose. Police calls are made,Kid tv show references, and a whole lot of OOCness and Humor. Crack-fic. Swearing. Now accepting suggestions.
1. Chapter 1

**I KNOW I HAVEN'T WRITTEN FOR DEATH NOTE SINCE FOREVER AGO, BUT I JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS! This is an old game I used to play with my friends a couple years ago. Now that I look back on it, it was pretty twisted. But so is my mind! Mwahahah! Anywho, I do not own the game 'Honey do you love me?' I don't own Death Note, but I do own the plot~! OOC AT THE END!**

**Please enjoy.**

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><p>Everything was peaceful. Too peaceful. So filled with peace it was almost boring. No, check that. It <em>was<em>, and _is, _boring. L closed the files on his laptop and stared at his wallpaper screen. Ah, choclate covered strawberry mountain, how he loved you so. L chewed on his finger nail, thinking of something to entertain his mind. He peered out of the corner of his eye at Light, who was listening to calming music while searching through games on his computer.

L jumped on the back of his chair, causing Light to gasp in surprise. He glared at L's reflection on his computer. "What are you doing Yagami-kun?" L asked, peering over Light's shoulder. "Taking a break..." Light muttered, trying desperately not to hit L. L took his finger out of his mouth, and pointed to a certain link.

"Click that one, Yagami-kun." L commanded Light stared wide eyed at him, before narrowing his eyes and chuckling darkly. "Ryuzaki... That's an old school girls gam-" He was cut off by L's hand on his mouth. Light felt disgusted. Strawberries.

"Click on that link now, or I will throw you in a prison cell, and force you to bath in a pool filled with Mago Juice." L said, his black, beady eyes staring into Light's. "You would throw me into a prison cell and force me to bath in Mango Juice...? Are you serious?" Light asked. L nodded.

"If you don't click on the link I can do worse. I will force you to guest star on Elmo dressed as that one American dinosaur." L was not kidding.

"Barney? Ryu-"

"And ride around on a tricycle singing You Are Kira. Click. On. That. Link." L jabbed his finger at the screen, before Light shot him one more glare, and clicked. "Honey do you love me...?" He read off the screen. "In order to play this game you need a certain number of people, the more the better. One person will have to flirt with another saying the words Honey Do You Love Me? Until they smile, or laugh. If they do not then repeat the phrase, only adding, Honey if you love me, give me a smile... Interesting..." L said as he read off the rules and instructions.

Light simply rolled his eyes, before turning to see what the other task force members were doing. Nothing. ''Hey Ryuzaki, maybe we should get back to work to solve the Kira-" He was cut off. Again.

"I want to play this game," He said. "Play it with me, or I will force you to marry the purple dinosaur."

"Barney."

"Bobby."

"Barney."

"Blacky."

"Barney!"

"Brownies!"

"..."

Once again, a very awkward silence between the two. L turned to the task force, coughing to get their attenting. None. L coughed again.

"Ryuzaki, you might want to get that hairball out of your throat. I'm trying to drink my coffee." Matsuda said. L glared at him. "Perhaps you should get the woodpecker out of your rectum." Silence.

"Excuse me?" Matsuda said, chuckling.

"Matsuda-san, are you gay?"

"...Who the hell told you...?"

Even awkwarder silence. Aizawa chuckled, replying with an "I knew it," before returning to his work. L coughed. "Jeez, Ryuzaki! No hairballs in here!" Matsuda yelled. L glared at him, before talking to Watarti on his walky-talky.

"Bring in the dinosaur."

"But Ryuzaki, he isn't here yet. We only have a blonde model, a homeless man, and 36 tons worth of rootbeer sitting in a truck outside!" Watari said apologetically. L slammed the walky-talky down.

"Alright! We are going to play a game called...," He turned to the computer screen. "Honey do you love me. I don't care if you don't know the rules. I'm bored. Let's play. Matsuda-San, you go first," L said, and sat on a couch staring intently at Matsuda.

"Oh! I played this game when I was in grade school! I was the best at it!" Matsuda cheered.

Awkward slience.

"Matsuda-San, you forgot to include in your Reseme that you were previously a male stripper. Anything else I should know about before we continue?" L raised his eyesbrows. Matsuda thought for a moment.

"Well, I live with my mom-"

"Get out! I've heard enough! Get out of here!" L yelled at him. Matsuda sat down, scared.

"I'll be good." He begged.

"Light-kun, go first." L commanded. Light rolled his eyes, and sat next to his father. "Daddy, do you love me?" He asked. Soichiro laughed, before patting his hand on Light's shoulder. "Of course I love you,son." L brought out a white-board, wrote all the task force members names on it, and crossed out Lights name.

"Light-kun has gone. You laughed Yagaimi-San. Your turn." L smiled a sadistic grin.

"But I don't-"

"Your. Turn." L's tone was deadly. Soichiro stood up, and wandered over to Aizawa.

"Uh, Aizawa-"

"No."

"It's rude to interu-"

"No."

"Just let me ask-"

"Are you stalking me, huh? Do you love me, do you want me? Huh, Huh? Is that your problem? Huh, am I too sexy for you?" Aizawa stood up and got in Soichiro's face. Sweatdrop.

"Next person." L crossed out Soichiro's name. "Aizawa-San, please continue," Ryuzaki asked. Aizawa walked over to Mogi, before turning away and shivering. He walked over to Light.

"Hey, Light-"

"Whatever." Light stood up.

"Light-kun, it isn't your turn. You have to smile."

"I don't want to smile."

"Why not?"

"Cuz Matsuda taste's the rainbow."

"Light-kun?"

"..."

"..."

"Okay, Light-kun...Continue." Light rolled his eye's, before walking over to Mogi.

"Mogi-"

"Oh yes, Light! I love you so~! Marry me~!" Mogi pounced. Soichiro fainted, Aizawa threw up, and Matsuda screamed.

"Quick, Call the police before I taste the rainbow!"

"I'm on it! Don't worry, we'll save you Light!" Matsuda screamed as he dialed the police. L reached into his pocket and took out his ringing phone.

"Hello?"

"..."

"Who is this? Is this some sort of prank? Do you think messing with the police is funny?" L's voice was stern. Light screamed as Mogi began dragging him off.

"SAVE ME, DAMN IT!" L held the phone to his shoulder.

"SHUT UP LIGHT-KUN, I'M ON THE PHONE! Now, calm down Miss. Miss? MISS! GOD DAMN IT SHUT YOUR TRAP, LADY AND LISTEN TO THE POLICE!" L screamed, Matsuda was quiet as he watched Mogi drag Light off. "Alright Miss, what's going on?"

"H-He took Light-kun!" Matsuda said into the phone.

"Nonsesne, Light-kun is right next to me." L turned his head, searching for the boy. "On second thought, where is this event taking place? Uh-huh...Uh-huh..." L wrote the adress for the task force headquartes down as he heard Matsuda say it. L rushed out the door.

"I'll be back!" He said, running out the door. Minutes later, he ran in the room, panting. "Miss...I'm here..." Matsuda still had the phone to his ear.

"Ryuzaki! You never told me you worked for the police!"

"Yes, Miss, I'm a double agent. Now, where's this boy?"

"Isn't it your job to find him?"

"Your taxes only pay for me to show up. I don't have to do shit." L was about to leave.

"Wait! I' give you twenty dollars!" Matsuda took out his wallet.

"Make it ten and you've got a deal."

"Okay!"

"And! And, I get overtime!"

"Sheesh, you cops are so expensive!"

"If you ask me, I call it smart investing." L looked around. "I'll find this boy, even if it costs me your life!"

"Don't you mean your life?"

"Woah, woah, woah. My life isn't worth ten dollars and overtime." L walked around the office, entering another room. He saw Light tied to a chair. L walked up to him, his fingers in the shape of a gun. He whispered to Light in an officail voice. 'Excuse me, miss? Have you seen a boy about your height, lightish brown hair, light brown eyes, and somewhat tan?"

"Mph, mmm, hrmph, mph!" Light said through the tape around his mouth.

"Miss, your going to have to speak cleaer. Have you seen this boy?" L said as he cut the ropes tied around Light's wrists. Light ripped the tape off his mouth, screaming as he did so. "Light-kun!" Ryuzaki exclaimed. "Have you seen this boy?"

Light slapped him in the face.

"Light-kun? Where did that miss go?" Ryuzaki asked. Light stormed out, muttering about quitting and arresting Ryuzaki.

Ryuzaki walked into the room, where Matsuda watched him walk off.

"Good job, officer!" Matsuda said happily.

"Matsuda-San, when did you get here?"

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><p><strong>SORRY IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT BUT I DON'T CARE~! ~BeyondTheClouds<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I guess I'm continuing this XD. Hope you people like it. XD CRACK PAIRING ALERT, EVEN THOUGH I HATE THESE BUT ITS ONLY FOR THIS CHAPTER AND ITS FUNNNEEEHHH! I NEED IDEAS THOUGH FOR THIS STORY!**

**~BeyondTheClouds**

**Please enjoy.**

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><p>"Dadddyyyy..." Light whined, spinning around in his computer chair boredly. The task force laughed at Light, who's father sighed and replied, "Yes?" Light pouted. "I ate something funny from Sayu's purse and now my stomach hurts!" Light gasped out. "And my head is weird..." Light stood up, spinning. Soichiro sighed.<p>

"What did you eat?" He asked, deciding to go along with it. Light thought for a moment. "Some mints. Monday through Friday on this wheel," Aizawa and Mogi fainted, while Soichiro fumed, and Matsuda gasped. "You too? I keep going to the pharmacist asking for those mints, and they said it was bad for me! But they taste awweeeeesooommmeeee..." Matsuda dragged on. "Shut up Matsuda, I'm going to kill your sister Light! Where is she!" Soichiro screamed.

"Ummmm...With Ryuzaki! Playing leap frog!" Light giggled. Soichiro ran up the stairs, tripping on one, and falling too the bottom. "GOD DAMNIT RYUZAKI! WHY DON'T YOU GET SOME STAIRS THAT WORK!" Soichiro screamed, running to the elevator.

"Why don't you get some balls that work!" Light said. "What?" Soichiro gaped. "Love you Daddy!" Soichiro smiled, before getting in the elevator, and banging on Ryuzaki's door. He heard various noises.

"Woah, your so skilled Sayu-san!"

"You think so? I had years of practice from watching my mother!"

"Amazing...It looks so yummy...Can I taste it?"

"Not yet! Wait till we finish! That's it...Keep moving it..." Soichiro kicked the door open.

"SAYU-" He screamed, before stopping upon seeing Sayu and Ryuzaki baking a cake. "Uh..." He mumbled. L set down his icing. "Yes Soichiro-san?" He asked. Soichiro rubbed the back of his head. "What were you guys doing...?" He asked nervously. "Oh, were baking a cake with naked people on it,daddy."

Soichiro fainted.

TWENTY MINTUES LATER!

"PUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!" L commanded. Light stood behind his father, making various noises to symbolize a woman giving birth. "YOU DID THIS TO ME ARGHHHHHH!" Light said in a squeeky voice. L pulled a watermelon out from underneath Soichiro's shirt. "It's a banana!" He rejoiced.

"Okay, give me the monkey," Light said, dropping Soichiro who woke up from unconsciousness. "What the- Light...That's not a monkey..." Soichiro was ignored.

"No way! It's my banana!" L protested, hugging the watermelon to his chest. "Well, I fake gived birth to the MONKEY, so it's MINE!" Light reached for the watermelon. "NO! I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU THIS BANANA!" L ran off, with Light chasing him.

Light tackled L, slapping his face, "AAAAHHHHHH! CALL THE POLICE! CALL THE PURPLE DINOSAUR! SOMEBODY HELP ME! I WANT A DIVORCE! I. WANT. A. DIVORCE.!" L screamed, Matsuda, being the idiot he is, replied, "But Ryuzaki! You ARE the police! If I call you, it's going to take at LEAST twenty minutes for you to get here- OH MY GOD!" Suddenly, a giant, evil purple shadow eclipsed over the two boys. L looked up in wonder, Light looked up in fear.

_**"I LOVE YOU. YOU LOVE ME. WERE A HAPPY FAMILY...HEHEHEH...MWAHAHAHAH!"**_ Barney picked the two men up, giving them a bone crushing hug. "YOU SMELL LIKE GASOLINE! I KNEW YOU'D SMELL LIKE GASOLINE!" L said, giving Barney a hug. Light screamed. "OH MY GOD, SOMEONE HELP ME!" Mogi appeared, with nung-chucks in hand. He wore a pikachu costume- which ment he ment business.

"Put. The. Boy. Down." Mogi challenged. Barney dropped the two, looking over at Mogi.

**"BARNEY TO THE RESCUE!" **Barney screamed.

"TASTE THE RAINBOW~!"

"WILL ANY OF THEM MAKE IT OUT ALIVE? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOLKS!" L screamed

"Wait a minute- what the hell? Don't end it now!" Light begged.

"Sorry. I have too, I need more inspiration so I might as well post this~!" The author chanted. "You Bitch." Light spat. "You Kira." She replied.

"BUUURRRNNNNN!"

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><p><strong>sorry, but I had to end it there! Please give me more ideas! DX<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**BONJOUR...I THINK! um...HOLA! YEAH THAT'S IT! I'm updating again, because I love my reviewers Tee-Hee~! Oh God...I was just watching Shane Dawson on Youtube and I think he rubbed his creepiness off on me O.O...XD I laugh so hard I nearly die everytime I watch his videos. Also, TEN FREAKING REVIEWS FOR TWO CHAPTERS? THATS LIKE...TEN MORE REVIEWS THAN I EXPECTED! Omg...If I get four chapters up...And 20 reviews...Gasp! XD I'LL BE SOOO HAPPY! But I won't ask for your reviews. I'm just saying it'll make me VERY happy~ *wink wink* *nudge nudge* O.O...No more Shane Dawson...**

**ALSO, FOR WHOEVER GIVES ME THE BESTEST RANDOMEST IDEA,TELL ME YOUR NAME OR WHATEVER ALIAS YOU WANNA GO BY, AND I WILL INCLUDE YOU AND YOUR IDEA IN THIS! And yes, I am desperate for new ideas. DX**

**P.S. (Why is this AN so long?) The guy "Cloud" Is from final fantasy, so don't stress too much about him, he won't be in here after this. I also got a line from a Final Fantasy parody in here, and if you can spot it, I'll include you in next chapter hands down!**

**Please enjoy!**

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><p>"It's about fucking time you updated this," Light grumbled to the author who will magically disappear with a spikey blonde haired man in exactly two minutes. "Well, I'm sorry, KIRA, but I haven't had the time too," She retorted as she L, and Light watched Mogi wrestle with Barney. "Well make time! After you cut the last scene, I didn't have a chance to polish my beautiful sexy hair! And what are you talking about, me being Kira?" Light scoffed, running his hand through his 'beautiful sexy hair'<p>

"Here's some shoe shine I got from an old guy down the street," The Author spat, throwing a container of black, icky stuff at Light. "You accepted stuff from an old guy down your street?" L inquired, cocking his head to the side. "...They told me not to accept drugs, alchohal, candy, or invitations from old people. They didn't say anything about shoe shine," She mumbled. One more minute~.

"...Good point," L nodded his head. Suddenly, Light screamed, standing up with now an ugly black thing for hair. "LOOK WHAT IT DID TOO ME!" He screamed. L stared at him as if he were crazy, and a now reawakening Matsuda was commenting on it. "Woah,Light! There's a black kity on your head! Here Kitty Kitty..." Matsuda said in a girly voice. Everyone stared.

"SEE WHAT YOU GET FOR ACCEPTING SHOE SHINE FROM OLD PEOPLE DOWN YOUR STREET!" Light cried, trying to get the stuff out of his hair. "SEE WHAT YOU GET FOR ACCEPTING SHOE-SHINE FROM AN OVERLY HYPERACTIVE TEENAGE FANGIRL WHO ACCEPTED SHOE SHINE FROM A GUY DOWN THE STREET!" The author fumed. Three...Two...One...

"EVERYBODY DOWN! I SAID GET DOWN! NOW! FUCKING GET THE FUCKING FUCKETTY FUCK DOWN! NOW! GRAAAAAHHHHH!" A blonde man with spikey blonde hair and a gigantic sword screamed as he kicked the door to the room the Task Force was in down. His shining blue eye's scanned the surrounding.

"Cloud! This man was being a dick to me!" The author pouted, pointing at Light.

"Wait wha- OH MY GOD! OW!OUCH! OWIE! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? SOMEBODY HELP! AHHHHHH!" Light screamed in pain as Cloud used his super sexy gigantic sword to cut Light and slash him into the next room. Mogi came up with his nung-chucks, side by side with Barney.

**"That wasn't very nice..."** Barney whined. Mogi growled.

"Your a bad man!" He said. Cloud glared.

"At least I'm manly, bitch!" Cloud began cutting them up and sending them flying.

"Well...I guess that takes care of that..." L said happily, before returning to his chair and eating the watermelon baby. Matsuda, for once, was not so happy about all the violence. "Ryuzaki! Your the police! Come on you have to do something!" He whined. Cloud stood up and got in his face.

"Do you have a problem with- GOD DAMNIT BARNEY STAY DEAD!" Cloud screamed when Barney tried crawling back into the room.

**"I love you...You love me...AHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO KIDNAP A LITTLE BLONDE BOY...AAARRRRGGHHHH!"** Barney cried as Cloud attacked him with his sword. "WELL THIS BLONDE BOY AINT YOUR BITCH! RAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRR!" Cloud screamed. He kicked Barney before walking over to The Author happily.

"Cloud do good?" He asked. The Author nodded. "Cloud do very good!" She said, bfore kissing his cheek and walking off into the writer's imaginary sunset with him.

"Who the fuck were those people?" Aizawa said, now included in the story. "Ugh, I know right! I can't believe she kissed his cheek!" Matsuda cried dramatically. L turned to him. "Well, one of them is an evil minded genuis who likes to torture and humiliate us for her amusement. She also has complete control over anything we do-" L was cut off by a slap to his face. "See what I-" Another slap. "...Mean."

"Oh, you mean like this! O CANADA! O CANADA~!" Matsuda began singing.

"Exactly! Matsuda-San gets it!" L kept slapping himself in the face.

"Naw, I just like singing about Canada. Did you know that my mother's step-sisters cousins uncle's friend was an AMERICAN! Thats's like, basically Canadian, except he was from Brazil. Anyway, he was talking to me one time and he complimented me on my hair and we went to starbucks and got some coffe-" Matsuda was thrown out the window. However, no Matsuda's were hurt in the making of this fanfiction.

"Thank God The Atuthor did something right!" L cheered. L slapped himself in the face once more.

"Okay, now your pushing it..."

"Pushing what?" The Author said, now reappearing with Cloud. "That didn't sound wrong..." Cloud laughed. The Author slapped his arm, before grinning and turning to L. She took out a notebook.

"Mwahahahahahahahah! What to do...What to do...Should you dress in a bunny suit?"

L was suddenly in a bunny suit.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, I'LL ARREST YOU!" L screamed.

"YOU AREN'T EVEN REAL!"

"WWWWWHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT?" Fangirls EVERYWHERE screamed. They grabbed their pick axes, fire thingys, and the ocassional boulder, before surrounding The Author and Cloud.

"Heheheh...See my fangirl army?" L smirked. The Author scoffed. One of the fangirls stepped forward.

"We'll protect you as long as we get to have your babies~!" She cheered.

"Hello to the Hell no," L said.

"Why did I put that in there?" The Author mused. "It doesn't matter, my love. All that matters is that you are safe, and in my arms!" Cloud said romantically. "Why the _hell_ did I put that in there? Am I really that obsessive over you Cloud?" She asked. He nodded.

"Damn Straight, that's the way I like mah bitch. All up in your face and in charge!" Cloud said.

"..."

"You know, she used to love me like that too! You remember. Beginning of September...That one roleplay at the pool..." L dragged on. Cloud's jaw dropped, while The Author blushed.

"T-THAT NEVER HAPPENED!" The Author screamed.

"Y-You...C-Cheated on m-me...?" Cloud asked, blue eye's tearing up.

"No! This was before I knew who you were and decided I loved you better!" The Author said. Cloud smiled.

"Okay! I love you too~! And L, I WON!" Cloud cheered.

"Thank God. Bye L~!" The Author said, as she was carried away by Cloud...Again.

"YOUR ENDING THE CHAPTER AND LEAVING ME HEAR WITH A FANGIRL ARMY?"

"Damn straight."

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><p><strong>I KNOW, I know, my chapters are short DX And yeah, it was confusing at the end...<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi again! Aren't I sweet, updating in only a day? I'll probably be doing that, updating every day or two, so YAY GOOD FOR YOU! Also, _LillyRoseTheDreamer_, sorry the whole kicking the door down screaming thing was not in the final fantasy parody. Good try though! Your the only one who guessed! *gives you a cookie* The actual lines were when Mogi said "Your A bad man.." and Cloud screamed "At least I'm manly bitch!" That was from a parody called "Real men" by Machiname or something like that. It's really REALLY funny, and even if you don't know about Final Fantasy, you'll laugh your ass off.**

**And! _Ajk Insantiy _YOU GET TO BE IN THE STORY~! I really liked your idea! It was random, and fun, and crazy, JUST LIKE MEH! :D Anyway, on with the story**

**Please Enjoy.**

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><p>L gulped as the fangirls swarmed over him. Closer...Closer...They took a step back and L breathed a sigh of relief before they jumped forward, causing him to shreek. "L...Mwahahahah!" One said of them said. She had shining blue hair, and L didn't get to notice any other traits before she poked his nose. "Uh-"<p>

"Alright, everyone! Be gone! I will deal with...HIM!" She said. Fangirls squeeled in dismay. The Author magically shows up to get rid of the fangirls so the story can continue.

"Hey, look everybody! It's L dancing to Bad Romance in a half naked kitty suit!" She said. The fangirls squeeled, and one by one jumped out the windows to their deaths. However, Matsuda broke their fall. Once again, no Matsuda's were hurt in the making of this fanfiction. The Author suddenly disappeared to sit in Cloud's lap and type this God forsaken fanfiction. She chewed on some gum, and wondered why she was typing about herself as if it were a fucking autobiography. Wait a minute? Did she just offend herself? How dare she!

TWENTY MINUTES LATER!

The girl with mysterious blue hair approached L. "I've been waiting for this moment..." She grinned, and tore off (?) her clothes to reveil a bathing suit. Soichiro blushed as Aizawa drooled. Weird music played as she randomly posed. Light, who is now recovered from his brutal mauling, slapped his father.

"DADDY! YOUR MARRIED!" He screamed. Soichiro shook his head, and threw his wedding band in the trash.

"Not anymore..." He muttered, walking over to the girl.

"Um...Ewwwwwww... Your like...Old... Besides, were going swimming!" She cheered.

"L scratched his head. 'We don't have a pool..."

**"I SAID WE'RE GOING SWIMMING..."**

"I've always wanted to go swimming! Heh heh heh, lead the way um...?" L said nervously.

"K!" She laughed.

"Kay?"

"No. K! The letter!"

"Can I call you K-mart?"

"No."

"What about Captain Crunch?"

"Captain Crunch starts with C's..."

"Not in my book!" L laughed as he followed the girl into the kitchen. "Hm...Note to self, charge The Author for the pool that magically appeared in my kitchen..." L said aloud.

Light walked in the kitchen, wearing a duck suit. "I seriously hate this author. And whoever's idea it was to dress me up in a duck suit is dead meat..."

Sweatdrop.

"OH MY GOD I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY!" L shouted, overjoyed. K quirked an eyebrow. "I will now be known as... Captain Crunch of the S.S. Strawberry!"

"What the hell kind of name is Captain Crunch of the S.S. Strawberry?" K asked. L glared. "That's Captain Ryuzaki Crunch of the S.S. Strawberry to you, missy!"

"Did you seriously just call me mis-"

"MR. CAPTAIN RYUZAKI CRUNCH OF THE S.S. STRAWBERRY! YARG! COME ABOARD ME SHIP 'O WONDER! I CALL ME BEAUTY, THE KIRA!" L said, pushing Light into the pool and jumping on his back. "SWIM ME KIRA, SWIM, YARG!" L kicked Light in the stimach. 'Maybe I'll go get a smoothie...' K thought, before temporarily leaving the two genuis's alone.

"GAH! I CAN'T SWIM!" Light screamed, thrashing around for dear life.

"THEN YOU SHOULDA BEEN A WHALE, YARG!"

"I DON'T WANNA BE A WHALE! AND STOP SAYING YARG!" Light screamed again.

Matsuda appeared, holding his stuffed animals. "Look Light-kun! I have- DEAR LORD! LIGHT-KUN CAN'T SWIM? RYUZAKI'S A PIRATE/SAILOR/DETECTIVE/POLICE OFFICER/ UM...PANDA?" Matsuda yelled. L glared at him, contin uously kicking Light.

"I'LL SAVE YOU LIGHT-KUN!"

"THE LAST TIME YOU SAID THAT YOU CALLED THE POLICE AND THEY MADE ME TASTE THE RAINBOW..."

"...I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU LIGHT-KUN!" Matsuda threw, pathetically, his stuffed animals into the pool. Light clutched on to one. "Thank...You...Matsuda..." Light said,and fell beneath the water. L swam off, and got a towel after exiting the pool. Matsuda screamed, hitting L with his stuffed animals.

"Ow! God- ow!" L tried hiding his face. K appeared again, with three orange smoothies. She watched the two fight. She sighed after a while, before running over and pouring one on Matsuda's head, before knocking him out.

"Thank...you..." L breathed. K grinned. "Oh, your welcome~!" L fainted.

She looked around. "Oh well! Not my fault!" She sang, grabbing Light, Matsuda, and L. She grinned, dragging them to the main office thing. She passed by barney and Mogi, and shivered. When she saw Soichiro drooling, she sent him into unconciousness. Cuz only real blue haired people are ninja's like that.

She smirked, and evil plan forming in her head...

AFTER SOME TIME LATER!

**"I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN A BARBIE WORLD~ IT'S SO FANTASTIC! WE'RE MADE OF PLASTIC!"** Music that was way to loud woke up L, Light, and Matsuda. L was dressed as the toothfairy, wearing eight inch hgh heels, and his nails were painted a disgustingly bright pink. So was his tutu. Light saw that he was wearing a Twink Winky (It's from Tellytubbies O.O I think that's the name of the purple one O.o) with Kira painted in purple in the middle of his stomach. Assorted stickers were placed randomly all over his body. Matsuda however, was unharmed.

"Mwahahahah! I dressed you all up like weirdo's!" K laughed, turning of the music. "Hey, hey! Your forgot me!" Matsuda whined. "Oh! You were so helpful! I didn't need to buy you anything! You already look like a werido!" Matsuda cried silently.

"Why are you doing this to us?" Light demanded. K scoffed.

"Because you two need to get along better! Now, Light, admit to being Kira! And L, you forgive him! You also have to admit that when he was sleeping, you shrunk all his clothes to make him think he's fat!" L shook his head while Light gaped at him.

"YOU DID THAT? I THOUGHT I'D GAINED TEN POUNDS! OH DEAR, I BROKE UP WITH JENOVA AND DIDN'T GO TO THE DANCE WITH HER BECAUSE OF IT!" Light sobbed. A tall man with long white hair and piercing gray eye's appeared. He held a long sword, and was looking at Light intently.

"Jenova? Mother!" He cried. Cloud appeared, dragging him off. "Not your story asshole."

"Um...Anyway...ADMIT IT!"

"NEVER!"

"ADMIT YOUR KIRA!"

"I'M NOT ADMITTING I'M KIRA!"

"ADMIT YOUR NOT KIRA!"

"WELL NEWSFLASH, I AM KIRA!...Oh fu-"

"KIRA!" L screamed. Handcuffing himself to...a lamp? "I'VE FINNALLY FOUND YOU!"

"Wait a minute L, that's not-"

"Of course it's Kira!" Light chuckled, cutting K off. K glared at him, spitting on his cheek, and walking off.

"Well. The Kira case is solved!" L said, content.

In a far off room...Where the light's were dimming...And Christmas music was playing...Aizawa chuckled darkly. He held up The Author's writing notebook, flipping through the pages. "Now it's my turn..."

* * *

><p><strong>SOORY ITS SHORT! AND AT THE END! OH NO! ALSO, STILL ACCEPTING SUGGESTIONS!<strong>


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